In one of my earlier posts “How to [NOT] Apologize,” my last point was that we must train ourselves to love others well. This might be the most difficult point on that list.

Exercise for the Brain

Training yourself into a different mindset is hard. Often times it happens without our active choosing and when we actually want to change, it comes at too high of a cost—like becoming a person who complains less.

It’s similar to training yourself to exercise. At first, you have to painfully choose to wake up at 5:30 am every morning to go run. But as you do it, it becomes so natural that you feel strange sleeping back 6 am!

Jordan Bishop, a fellow student of mine at The King’s College covers this territory well in his blog Practical Love. In his post “How-To Change Your Perspective on Loving People,” Jordan lists three fundamental parts of becoming someone who loves: practicing humility, service, and open-mindedness.

Try to think of someone you know who is very loving. I am sure you are picturing someone who actively exhibits all three of these values and practices.

Start Out Small

These three things don’t need to completely encompass your life overnight. In fact, I doubt that they would even if you tried.

Instead, start out small with little acts of humility, little acts of service, and little acts of open-mindedness. Make try picking one specific person and trying to love them better in the way that you know will mean the most to them.

For instance, you don’t need to go cleaning all your siblings’ bedrooms for them. Some of them might have a specific order to their room and by trying to love them you are actually making them miserable. Instead, be humble and try to learn what love means to them.

This exercise SHOULD be hard. I hope it is. Stretch yourself. Be prepared to mess up, cause you will. But part of loving well is apologizing and seeking Reconciliation when you hurt someone.


Hi. I am Ravyn Carico and I’m honored to have you listening to my thoughts!

I am a current college student and enjoy talking about ideas in a way that is practical and real—especially Reconciliation. I hope that my words can add to this important and impactful discussion.

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