So often we blame others for a hurtful and pain-filled world. We might talk about war, crime, or poverty as the cause. In reality? We are contributing to the harshness of this world.
Reconciliation is hard. It’s hard work AND contrary to our natural inclinations. Our first response is typically one of self-preservation and Reconciliation can often mean the opposite of self-preservation.
What can we actually do to bring Reconciliation to those around? How can we create a better world for the people who will inherit it from us?
How to Bring Reconciliation to the World Around Us:
Be quick to admit when you are wrong
First, constantly admit you are wrong. Anyone who knows me knows that I love to be right. I love to win an argument and prove my side, but that shouldn’t be our priority. We should be trying to find the truth rather than making the truth conform to us. Be prepared to be wrong, a lot. No one is expected to be right all the time and being wrong is a great way to learn what is right.
Challenge the people around you
It is up to us to hold the people around us accountable. This is another one I struggle with (I honestly struggle with all of these). I typically live my life according to the idea that as long as someone isn’t inconveniencing or affecting me, I don’t care what they do. This is absurd. I should care enough about the people around me to challenge and confront them. If someone you love isn’t pursuing Reconciliation, encourage them to do so!
Be careful to express your opinion
As Americans in the 21st century, we are so quick to state our opinion and defend the right to do so. However, I want to encourage you to be slow to speak. Think carefully about your opinion and do lots of research. So many people state an opinion without any information on the situation and this can be so harmful.
Don’t be lazy
Reconciliation is definitely the hard road. It is much easier to keep hating someone. To keep milking the hurt. To hold grudges. But all of these are so lazy. We shouldn’t do things just because they are easier. Instead, try to do what is GOOD and RIGHT.
Accept if someone is unwilling to Reconcile
Sometimes, the other person will refuse to Reconcile with you. It’s going to happen and you have no control over that. In this situation, all you can do is accept it, Reconcile yourself to the past and be willing in the case that the other party ever opens up.
Be willing to forgive, over time
Forgiveness is not easy. But train yourself to be the type of person who forgives. Remember that forgiveness is not a one-time thing. True forgiveness means not bad-mouthing that person when the opportunity arises. It means fighting against bitterness that could come up in the future. It means choosing to accept the pain and treat the other person with dignity anyway.
Hi. I am Ravyn Carico and I’m honored to have you listening to my thoughts!
I am a current college student and enjoy talking about ideas in a way that is practical and real—especially Reconciliation. I hope that my words can add to this important and impactful discussion.